Decameron Tale #4:Can We Lighten Up a Bit?

May 17, 2020

Many stores try to provide some protection for their customers.  BJ’s sprays the cart handles upon entering.  My local supermarket pauses between customers and sprays the belt with sanitizer.  The belt is activated and the checkout gal furiously wipes it down as it passes.  I take the pause to impress my hands onto the belt and make squiggly designs.  My hands thus cleansed, I admire my art work.  The young women generally smile.  While masked, I can tell by their eyes that they are amused.

Last week the checkout gal glared at me.  She did not have smiley eyes.  The muscles of her face were tensed in such a way that I knew she was gritting her teeth!  Believe me, long years as a child at my mom’s knee taught me all the signs.  Since I had done nothing to cause her such an annoyance, I concluded that she just wasn’t a morning person.  Crabby risers have to be handled with care.  I tickle Sal before her morning coffee at my peril.

I vowed that next time I would do this cranky cashier a good deed employing my usual subtlety and finesse.   I hatched a plan.  Instead of silly designs, I would spell out in the sanitizer  “GOOD MORNING! HAPPY! HAPPY! JOY! JOY!” followed by a happy face design.  When I got to the market next they had discontinued the wipe down procedure.  No smiley eyes on this day either.  I do believe that, if my good deed was carried out, I would have basked in her gratitude … or perhaps not.

Many thanks to the respondents to my request in the last tale.  Shannon’s “QUIET ON THE SET!” would have people scouring the lot for cameras.   Thanks to sis Linda on hers:  “My wife had it and recovered, but now I have it!”  I might be tempted to add “feel my forehead.  Do I seem feverish to you?”