May 19, 2020
One of the positive aspects of the current lockdown and its attendant stress is the renewed interest in gardening, which I heartily endorse. There is nothing so soothing as dirt under the nails and feeding various invertebrates to the crows and robins. However, it is important that, in our enthusiasm, we do not stray from our sense of sartorial panache! Even while gardening, standards must be upheld so that neighbors will speak of our sense of style to their friends.
The attachment is an example of gardening in style. You’ll note that Sal wears a beekeepers’ hat. Very handy for warding off the gnats that gnaw (pronounced with hard “g”s). The mesh veil suggests mystery and intrigue. The white socks pulled up over her pants are so chic that one may forget that the main purpose is to keep ticks from crawling up the legs. This, by no means, suggests that one should cease the pleasant apres gardening ritual of checking one another for ticks. I have not the slightest doubt but that a major fashion house will pick up on this.
As for me, the respirator covers a multitude of unsightly defects. Even large ones such as noses, mouths and such. The pink filter canisters match well with a similarly colored ascot. It is also nearly impossible to respond to idle chit chat and questions while wearing it. Not all men will find this feature equally availing however, but it is worth a try. The black band around my waist is a back brace but I don it not because I need it but to invoke the glamour of 1930’s movies where all men dressed in tuxedos and wore cummerbunds. The pitchfork is an homage to Grant Wood. While some eight inches shy of six feet, the fork is an effective tool to enforce social distancing.
You have the basics. So get out there and have at it!!
PS Please free to share. Sal and I are at our most photogenic best. We are in our prime!
PPS On a more serious note: my thanks to everyone who has sent suggestions on how to get/make masks. The local TV station handed out 5 paper masks that I obtained. I’ve also gotten 4 reusable cloth masks ordered online. So we are keeping safe as I hope you all are.